Persistence

Last week our church, Hope, started a new sermon series.  I've mentioned before on the blog that often times it feels like God is specifically talking to me about what I need to hear directly through the minister.  I just want to put this in the blog with the hope that it might possibly give someone else a moment of refection the way it has for me.  

being extraordinary

The current series is called "Extraordinary".   Last week's sermon talked about how God wants us never to settle for the norm and constantly push ourselves to be better than our own expectations.  That was a blessing to hear at that moment because I was already thinking about how to both meet Camille's needs and meet my kindergarteners' needs, too, when I go back to work.  I was wondering where and how I would find the time and energy to give my baby the quality time she needs with me and to also continue to be a good teacher for my class.  Then, of course, I was trying to factor in how to continue to keep Sam's and my relationship close and strong in the midst of the day to day chores and responsibilities of life.  Where in the world would we find the time and energy for everything?  The message hit home because it was about how God wants us to constantly strive to be above and beyond what we think is good or our best.  It left me feeling a little more empowered to figure out how to give my very best to everyone and how that in turn will really be like giving my best back to myself at the same time.  I know that the first few weeks back to school will be a time for figuring out and settling into a schedule that works best for all of us.  But, I know that it can be done, and I feel like giving everything (Sam, Camille, my class, and a little time for myself) my best will just give more honor to God because I'll be working to meet His high expectations.  My hope is to do things every day to the point where I can go to bed at night thinking that I have done absolutely everything I could have done in order to be the absolute best that I can.  I can sing an extra song or two to Camille every morning before work.  I can give her an extra few kisses before I drop her off with the sitter.  I can make sure that every single one of my kindergarten kids feels like they at least had a moment or two with just them and me where they could feel like they have my undivided attention and interest in their life.  I can find a new recipe each week to try with Sam, and we can seek out a new activity to do as we set aside at least one special monthly date night.  I can give myself the gift of thirty minutes of treadmill time if I just expect myself to get up just a little earlier.  After all, exercise makes my day start off so much better.  I know I can do all these things if I just commit to them.  Why wouldn't I try for these things, especially if God has made me capable of all of it?  It's only right that I give it my best, especially when I think of all that He has given me.

persistence

This week's message was about persistence.  Before I get into that, I remember going through the months and years of fertility treatments and wondering why God was allowing us to have that struggle.  I didn't understand why I had been "picked" to go through it. And, I was more than a little frustrated at times that I was on the "losing" end of the thought that God never gives you more than you can handle.  I remember often thinking that I would appreciate it if He would please think I could handle just a little less than He was currently giving me and that  perhaps then He would ease up on me a little and go ahead and give me the baby I wanted.  I couldn't figure out what He was telling me every time we started a new cycle of expensive and frustrating shots and pills.  I especially had trouble figuring out what He was telling me during the two miscarriages.  I felt like I was certainly praying enough about all of it but that I still wasn't getting any closer to figuring out the right path or answer.  Fast forward to today.... I have a precious little baby and a marriage that has become even better due to her and the times of struggle during fertility treatment.  But even with these blessings, I still have wondered a bit why the infertility struggle had to last so long and be so difficult.  And in the moment bouncing Camille in the cry room and missing a  bit of the message this past Sunday, I swear to you, God just shut out all the noise around me so I could hear this...

 

Sometimes God ignores you in order to improve you.

I think that hit home more than anything I have ever heard in church.  There were many times when I would want to stop the process and to quit the treatments.  I felt like that was the best defense from having my feelings hurt when I saw another negative test.   Friends and family became a support source for us and encouraged us to keep on when we sometimes felt ready to give up.  We needed them and are blessed they were there for us.  Then, we would remember that in order to have a baby whom we so desperately wanted, there was no way that stopping the process would help us get that baby.  So, we pressed on.  Hearing that yesterday made me realize that God heard me every time I prayed about it.  This was just His way of making us stronger.  

Everyone has a struggle.  It might be finding a job, working on your marriage, dealing with some other personal issue.  Whatever it is, I hope that you can keep pushing through it, too.